News & Updates
January 19, 2020
How do I stop my emotional eating?
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you can’t stop your binge/emotional eating even though it is ruining your life?
If you still aren’t sure if you are an emotional eater, if you find yourself eating for any other reason than legitimate hunger, you are eating out of emotion.
If you have followed me for any period of time you know that I was a huge binge eater for decades. I would find myself eating out of emotion for any reason, it really didn’t matter if I was sad or happy, it had just become a way of life for me. It wasn’t until I got to the root cause of why I was emotionally eating was I able to radically change my life. I’ll come back to this in a minute.
Most of my time was spent either feeling really good about myself when I was ‘perfect’ and adhering to the newest diet I was on or feeling like absolute crap about myself when I fell off the wagon and ate something I deemed ‘bad’ and ended up in a binge fest. I felt tremendous shame when I lost control over those foods I swore I would never eat again and kept finding myself in this vicious cycle.
See if this sounds familiar.
I would start a new diet, be ‘perfect’ for a week or so, and then life would hit. I would feel stressed and find myself eating something I swore I’d never touch again to make myself not only forget what was wrong, but to make me feel better. Then I’d swear to myself that I would never do that again and that the next time would be different, except that it wasn’t. I would find myself repeating that same binge/shame cycle for nearly a decade of my life.
I tried everything under the sun to lose weight and stop the cycle of emotional eating. I did the normal diet pills, shakes, deprivation diets, and endless hours of exercise in the hope that this would finally be the last time. It was crazy when I look back because I kept doing the same thing over and over again, wishing and hoping for a different outcome. I kept beating my head against the wall like this for far too long.
The reason behind binge eating is typically tied to deprivation. If you are used to going on these crazy making diets where you only allow yourself to have chicken and broccoli you can probably relate. You swear off any foods you legitimately like and think that you’ll be able to sustain this. A week or two goes by and WHAM, you find yourself face first in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, wondering how in the hell you got here. That is what most people would refer to as ‘falling off the wagon’ eating.
Or maybe you were at work one day and the boss brought in some doughnuts and left them in the break room. You walk by, see the doughnuts, and sneak one. After you’ve finished the doughnut you are filled with so much guilt and shame because you just broke your diet. So what do you do? you proceed to eat 3 more because you failed again, so what does it matter? This is what keeps us stuck in this never ending cycle of misery.
Those who emotionally eat are usually doing so to avoid or escape uncomfortable emotions. I know I did this myself anytime I had to think about my past or something stressful came up that I just wanted to run from. The only issue with this, as you know, is that the problems don’t go away. So not only do you still have these unresolved issues, but you must also deal with an ever expanding waist line.
If you find yourself falling under the category of a ‘restrictive dieter’ just know you are setting yourself up for failure and remaining stuck on the guilt/shame cycle of binge & emotional eating.
If you moralize foods by labeling them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or if you self-worth is dependent on your weight, you are setting yourself up for failure.
If you truly want to be free from binge eating and emotional eating there are some things you must do.
#1 You have to practice mindfulness and learn to reconnect with your body. I go in depth in this area with my coaching clients.
#2 You have to change your relationship with food. Going on restrictive diets simply doesn’t work long term. You will ultimately find yourself eating everything around that food that you crave and then that food itself.
#3 Stop focusing on the outcome and be happy with yourself at the place you are at right now. Far too often we tell ourselves that we will be happy when _____. By doing this we are indirectly telling ourselves that we can’t be happy until we reach a certain weight. This will only ensure you stay miserable and sabotage your efforts.
#4 You must heal your damaged body image and look at how you got here in the first place. You will never be able to shame your way into wellness or self-love. I feel that if we can identify those underlying causes of why we eat to avoid we can heal and ultimately the weight issues resolve themselves.
In order to do all of this you are going to need help and that is where I come in. Not only have I gone through all of this myself, but I’ve done the work to heal. I have since come down from nearly 300 pounds, dealt with some pretty traumatic childhood issues, and now help people just like you to do the same.
Coaching is for you if you can identify with the following:
- You find yourself face first in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and you’re telling yourself that you know you shouldn’t be doing this, you hate yourself, but you just don’t know how to stop.
- You are a chronic dieter and always find yourself on a diet more often than not. You’ve done everything from Keto to IF and sucked down more nasty shakes then you care to admit.
- You catch yourself always preoccupied with the thought of food. I know for myself when I was eating breakfast I was also thinking about what I was going to have for lunch, etc.
- You have what I call the ‘mirage mentality’ and think that if you finally have the perfect body everything will be okay and you will love yourself. I can tell you that this is a mirage [wishful thinking] and even if I could miraculously give you the body of your dreams, unless you deal with the internal stuff, you will still be miserable.
If you found yourself nodding your head to any of the above I want to do the following for you:
- No longer obsess about food or go on any more deprivation diets.
- Be able to eat foods you once moralized as bad and not end up in a feeding frenzy, binge fest.
- Finally be able to love the skin your in, the reflection you see in the mirror, and no longer be at war with yourself.
- Have a healthy relationship with food and no longer feel like a slave to your emotions.
So my friend, here is what time it is
If going on miserable deprivation diets, doing endless amounts of cardio, and trying to hate yourself into wellness is working for you, keep on keeping on. If however you find that your diets are literally sucking the life out of you, you can’t maintain them for more than an week or two without going into binge mode and are open to trying something that will help change your way of thinking and being, I want to help.
If you are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, doing the same old thing and getting nowhere, go here NOW to learn more about how my coaching group can change your life or hit reply and we can connect that way.
January 19, 2020
The only way to lose weight [fat].
I want to revisit a very important topic for those of you who have committed to losing weight in 2020. A lot of people still think that if they begin an exercise program that they can still eat whatever they want.
You will not have any success trying to out-train a poor diet. You will just spin your wheels, get frustrated,and eventually quit. If you have done what I just described, know you are not alone.
I totally get your frustration when it comes to this. I used to deal with this exact issue myself when I was coming down from being nearly 300 pounds. I was eating better, killing myself in the gym, but the scale would barely move! I kept asking myself what it was I was doing wrong and it always came back to this one thing; you can only lose weight if you are in a CALORIC DEFICIT, period.
There is no getting around this fact.
It doesn’t matter if you train in the gym for 2 hours daily. If you are still eating too much you will either maintain, or gain weight. The problem that many people encounter is this; they think that just because they are exercising now that they don’t have to pay as much attention to their diet/nutrition.
This false belief leads many people to eat poorly and stay wondering why they can’t drop weight and eventually quit. You need to know that your daily exercise routine isn’t creating that big of a caloric deficit as you might think. Those machines that spit out the number of calories burned during exercise are HIGHLY inaccurate.
The science says that the average person will ‘burn’ up to 100 calories running one mile…ONE MILE. That isn’t a very big number and if you strength train those numbers will be slightly higher, but not by much. So, depending on how intense you train you could most likely expend anywhere from 100-300 calories during a 60 minute session.
How intense are your training sessions?
Remember that I said in order to lose weight [body-fat] you must be in a caloric deficit. I am going to give you an example of what I do with my clients. I look at being in a deficit over a 7 day period.
So, lets say that John Doe wants to lose weight. I have calculated his macros [carbs, protein, fat] for his specific fitness goal and in order to lose weight he needs to eat 1500 calories per day. Now keep in mind these are generic numbers I am making up and I break that 1500 calories into percentages for carbs, protein, fat.
So, I’ll break this down over a 7 day period and show you how John Doe is setting himself up to either maintain or gain weight.
✅Monday: John does a great job of eating at a deficit and consumes 1400 calories. He is even under the 1500 calories needed to reach his weight loss goal.
Calorie deficit = 100 calories
✅Tuesday: John had a horrible nights sleep that left him feeling drained and pissy. He needed a quick boost and hit Starbucks for a foo-foo coffee. After tracking his calories at the end of the day the total was 1650. He went over his numbers for the day and ended up in a caloric surplus.
Calorie deficit = +150
✅Wednesday: Determined to get back on track, John has a great day of eating. He hits his goal of 1500 calories.
Calorie deficit = 0
✅Thursday: It is the weekly potluck at work and John says to himself, “I have been a beast in the gym this week, I deserve to indulge a little.” He helps himself to 2 doughnuts, not knowing that they were 450 calories each. At the end of the day his calorie total was 2050.
Calorie deficit = +550
✅Friday: John feels guilty about the potluck fiasco and again has a really great day. He wants to make up for his indulgence on Thursday and only eats 1300 calories.
Calorie deficit = 200
✅Saturday: It’s the weekend and John is feeling frisky. He has a night out on the town and throws back a few cocktails. At the end of the night our friend has consumed 2200 calories.
Calorie deficit = +700
✅Sunday: Wanting to repent for his shenanigans on Saturday John vows to eat only bland chicken breast and salad to get back on track. Way to go, Johnnie!! At the end of the day he consumes only 900 calories.
Calorie deficit = 600
So, let’s review how John did over the course of the week.
In order to lose weight this week he would have needed to hit his goal of 10,500 calories [1500×7].
How did he do???
At the end of the week John took in 11,000 calories. He ended up being over by a measly 500 calories, but this is enough to keep you at your current weight or to even gain.
I can’t tell you just how important it is to not only track your food, but be consistent when doing it. Also, do not think that your exercise is going to create enough of a dent to overcome your poor eating habits, because it won’t. I know that this is the biggest source of frustration for a lot of people; maybe even yourself. It also can be made harder if you struggle with emotional eating.
Now keep in mind tracking what you eat isn’t the only way to be successful, but I have found over my 10+ years of coaching people that it is the BIGGEST reason as to why many succeed. Not only can you track and measure your progress, but you are now made aware of just how unhealthy some of the foods you have been putting into your body really are. This will help you to really think twice before eating that food again.
So, does this sound familiar to you? do you struggle with wanting to get in shape, but find that you keep going around the same mountain again and again? Just know that you are not alone and your solution while simple, isn’t going to be easy.
I hope that this helped you to see where you may need to make some changes in how you are approaching your weight loss goals. If it did, hit reply and tell me about it.
PS- I want you to have massive success and clarity when it comes to your life and fitness goals in 2020 and beyond that I am offering you a free clarity call. Go here to set that up now.
November 11, 2019
Use these tips to kick-start your weight loss
Use these tips to effectively help you to win the ‘battle of the bulge’ and get in the best shape of your life.
Tip #1: Get your calories from solid foods, reducing your consumption of sugary drinks and soda.
Tip #2: To reduce how much you eat, drink a glass of water 30 minutes before, and after, each meal.
Tip #3: Keep healthy snacks on hand when cravings hit. By doing so, this will help you to keep from driving through McD’s fast food or binging on junk. I like to keep raw almonds in my car along with apples and bananas.
Tip #4: Swap out those large plates you use for smaller ones. You can legitimately trick your brain into thinking your servings are bigger by using smaller plates. This will also keep you from feeling like you have to fill those plates to the rim with gut busting food.
Tip #5: Get in the gym and lift iron. This can help to give a boost to your metabolism as you diet and help you to retain more lean muscle mass. It will also help you to lose more fat over time, look great, and move better.
Tip #6: Make sure you get your zzzz’s. Studies show that those who don’t get adequate rest tend to eat more and are predisposed to weight gain. Your sleep is huge to recovering and being able to lose fat.
Tip #7: Ditch all the crazy fads and crash diets. Find what works for you and make this a lifestyle change. Otherwise you’ll keep going from one fad to the other and get nowhere. Make a list of the activities that you like, and keep you active, and find ways of doing these things daily.
As you can see the above tips aren’t flashy or glamorous, but they are scientifically proven to help you when it comes to losing weight and keeping it off.
Which of these do you think you can benefit from? hit reply and tell me about it.
If you are ready to take control of your health then reach out to me here and let’s get started.
November 4, 2019
Why a lack of motivation isn’t your problem
I hope you are doing well so far and are excited for the upcoming week.
I’ll make this message short and sweet. I’ve been talking to folks who complain that they aren’t ‘motivated’ when it comes to getting in shape or making any life changes that would benefit them.
I told them that was rubbish and that it wasn’t motivation that they lacked.
You may also be one of those who use the lack of motivation as an excuse to stay stuck and not do the work, but here is what you most likely are really deficient in.
You lack vision and a plan.
If you have no vision for what you want your life to look like things will be ‘muddy’ for you. You might have some idea but not a clear vision.This lack of vision will leave you feeling frustrated and will keep you from taking action.
If you don’t have a plan you will also feel a sense of hopelessness and claim it is a lack of motivation. It really comes down to not knowing how to get to where it is you say you want to be, not a lack of motivation.
I have people tell me all the time what they want to do, such as lose weight, start exercising again, eat better, look for a better job, etc. This is great and I love that they are dreaming about a better life for themselves, but they run into problems when I ask them what their plan is. I will usually get a generic answer like, “I’m just going to eat better” or “I’m going to work out next week.”
The issues is these are very vague responses and are not specific enough. It isn’t a plan that you can follow. If you find you say similar things just know you are hoping that you will reach your destination instead of having an actionable plan that you know will get you there.
I have all my clients use Sunday as the day they will plan our the upcoming week so they can be successful. We plan out what they will meal prep, what days they will train and what they will do, etc. We make sure they have a specific, easy to follow, plan of action they can follow.
This not only helps to keep them on track but we can measure what they are doing. Meaning, if they aren’t getting the results we want then we look back at their action plan and can find out why.
So, there is no more guessing or ‘hoping’ and ‘wishing’ that they will get results. If you follow the plan you will get results. If you have no plan then it makes sense if you are still struggling to get results year after year.
I care about you and I want you to get results.
If you use what I am about to give you then you will get the results you want. The key is you MUST use it. I don’t care if you have thoughts that you won’t be successful, just use it.
I am attaching my s.m.a.r.t. goal setting guide that will help you to create an action plan for any goal you have in your life. Open it up and begin filling it out.
As always let me know your thoughts and if it helps. The key is for you to take action. So don’t just look at it and then say you’ll do it later.
Do it now.
It’ll take you less than 10 minutes to do. Set yourself up for a successful week my friend.
One on one coaching application.
November 3, 2019
I am back with my final post regarding emotional eating and how our beliefs determine our feelings and behavior.Keep in mind that in order to be free from your stress eating you must be aware of your beliefs before you can change them. If you change your beliefs then you can expect to experience new feelings and behaviors.
This is what I help you to do with my coaching program. Once the connection is made, and those uncomfortable feelings you’ve been running from for years are given space to be felt, dramatic changes begin to occur in your life.Keep in mind that the diet industry will have you believe that your problem is the food you are putting in your mouth.
They are wrong and I can prove it.
It has never been about the food and it never will be.
If food was the issue you could simply go on any diet you choose and you’d never deal with emotional eating again.Maybe you think it’s about the food too. If so, I want to ask you how many diets you’ve been on? Have you lost count? If it was about the food you’d have had the success you so desperately want by now. The food is just a symptom of a much larger problem and by only addressing your diet without doing the internal work and looking at how your current belief system is keeping you stuck is insanity. But many people go on diet after diet without doing the internal work because it keeps them safe.
As long as we are able to keep our focus on anything other than ourselves we don’t have to feel, but what you don’t realize is that it is the feeling [emotions] that will free you.The good news is most of your beliefs that you have today aren’t even your own. They were given to you as a young child by mom, dad and society and you readily accepted them because you didn’t know any better. Maybe your mom had a dysfunctional relationship with her body and would make negative comments about herself or food in front of you. As a child you look up to her so you naturally internalize these messages even if they were never directly said to you. As a child you think, “if mom feels like this about herself or food then I need to as well.”Maybe you had a parent take out their self loathing on you and they did speak negativity over your life. If they were unhappy with themselves it isn’t unusual to have that spill over onto others around them.
Many of my clients have had a history like this but are afraid to really look at this because they feel as if they can’t question how they were raised. It’s as if they are not being loyal to their parents. I reassure them that it is okay to take an objective look at how we were raised and to acknowledge that at times our parents made mistakes. I believe in dealing with reality and by doing so we can find freedom.Maybe you have some beliefs that you aren’t quite sure about. Are they right or could they possibly be irrational? Take a look at some of these that I used to believe and that I’ve heard from my coaching clients.
Irrational beliefs about food:
- Food is the enemy
- Food will make me fat
- Food comforts me
- Food should never be wasted
- Food is life
- Food is a reward
- I’ll always struggle with what I eat
- I should only eat food that is good for me
Irrational beliefs about eating:
- If I don’t eat it all there will be none left for me later
- I wish I didn’t have to eat to survive
- Once I start eating I’m afraid I’ll never stop
- I hate eating around other people
- I’m ashamed of myself when I eat
- I’d rather eat my feelings than to actually have to feel them
- It’s better to not eat than to be overweight
- The only time I feel okay is when I’m eating
- I feel guilty for eating certain foods
- I eat to fill the void inside of me
- What I eat dictates how I feel about myself. If I eat what I consider are ‘good’ foods I do great. If I eat ‘bad’ foods I feel tremendous shame
- I moralize food
Irrational beliefs about weight:
- In order to be happy I must be thin
- I believe that in order to be truly happy I must be thin
- I can’t find true love because I’m fat
- If I’m fat I don’t deserve to be happy and have a good life
- My weight keeps me safe from being hurt again. This is especially true if you have a history of sexual, physical or emotional abuse
- Thin people live a charmed life
- I am deathly afraid of gaining a single pound!
- I should only eat bland, low calorie foods in order to lose weight
Irrational beliefs about your body:
- I will never have the happiness that I want with my current body
- I should be perfect and so should my body
- I don’t trust myself to give my body the care that it needs
- I deserve to feel ashamed of my body and how it looks
- I am only lovable when I’m thin
- No one will love me while I’m fat
- I have no control over my body
- I have convinced myself that I don’t care what I look like. This is another defense mechanism that gives you the false sense of safety. If I tell myself this lie I don’t have to look at, or deal with, how I truly feel
- If I can keep the focus on controlling my body I can avoid looking at the current state of my life
- How I look determines my self-worth
So, after reading all of that can you identify with any of these limiting, irrational beliefs?If you are nodding your head that is a good thing. You might be asking yourself why that is but it is the truth! Remember in my first email I said we have to have a certain level of self awareness in order to change. The fact that you recognize some of these are what you believe to be true is your first step in being able to change them and create a new life for yourself.I know that proposition is exciting and scary at the same time.
I mean, how will you live? If you’ve struggled with your weight for a long period of time then it is very possible that it has become your identity now and although you dream about being at a normal weight that can be hard to grasp. I want you to know that this is very normal as I dealt with that myself as did many of my clients. Even though being overweight was painful it had also become my ‘normal’ so to think about being any other way was a process. Thankfully my coaching program makes this mental transition possible and gives you the blueprint to follow and make it a reality.Now I want you to do something for me and make your own list.
This is the type of actionable work that I give to my coaching clients to help facilitate change and heal their relationship with themselves, and in turn their relationship with food changes all on its own.I want you to make a list of your own beliefs. They might look like this, “I will always be fat” or “I will never lose this weight just like my mom or dad said.” The use of “I” statements is a good thing. Be sure to list exactly what your inner critic says to you, word for word. Some of them may be similar and that’s okay, just write all of them down that pertain to your weight, body, eating habits, and happiness.
This can be your starting point to begin change and build the life you want and deserve.Well my friend that is all for now. I hope that you take some time to create that list and really look at how your beliefs may be influencing your life today. I told you that at the end of this mini series I was going to offer you the chance to work with me one on one. If what I have shared over the last week has resonated with you I want to be your coach. If you know you want more from life and are tired of trying to figure it out on your own, I want you to know I get it. I used to be right where you are and I have created a faith based program that takes the guess work out of it all.You just have to stop thinking about change and take action. That is the only way out.
If you’re curious and want to set up a free consultation hit reply and type, “I’m ready” and we can jump on the phone to discuss your goals and I can share exactly how I will help you to succeed.You can also go here and fill out my application.
Remember that change is scary and you’ll do everything in your power to talk yourself out of it. Don’t believe the lie you tell yourself that you’ll do it, “later” or “tomorrow.” When you procrastinate just know that it is because of f.e.a.r. so take action now.
Reach out to me today if you’re interested in online coaching or personal training in Caldwell, Boise, Nampa, Eagle, Meridian or Middleton.
October 16, 2019
Physical vs. Emotional Hunger
“Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full.” It sounds so simple, yet countless people struggle with putting this principle into practice.
Why is overeating such a battle?
One of the main reasons is because people aren’t tuned in to their bodies. They lose sensitivity to true stomach hunger, and get it confused with a multitude of other signals and needs.
What is stomach hunger?
Stomach hunger–or physical hunger–involves a complex interaction between the digestive system, endocrine system and the brain. When the body needs refueling, we start feeling tired and weak, while finding it harder to concentrate and work. The stomach, which is located just below the ribcage, starts to ache and rumble. This is true stomach hunger. When we begin eating in response, we really enjoy the food and start feeling better, because a bodily need is being met.
What happens when I ignore my stomach hunger?
If you don’t feed your body when it needs food, the physical symptoms intensify. The stomach starts to really hurt. You find it more difficult to concentrate and may experience lightheadedness. You may also get irritable and short-tempered. In addition, some people get shaky and nervous, while others get a headache. Because you are so ravenous at this point, once you do start to eat, you’re very vulnerable to uncontrolled eating or bingeing.
When I eat, how do I know when to stop?
Hunger and fullness is regulated by the hypothalamus in the brain. When your body has had enough food to satisfy its needs, signals are sent to the hypothalamus, registering fullness (also called satiety). When we are in tune to our bodies, we recognize when it’s time to stop eating. The stomach feels comfortable, and satisfied–not stuffed. We soon begin to feel calmer, more alert and energized.
It takes approximately 20 minutes for fullness signals to transmit from the stomach back to the brain. So, if you eat too fast and aren’t paying attention, it’s easy to override this system and eat more than what the body is calling for.
How do I know when I am overeating?
When you are eating at a calm, relaxed pace and paying attention to your body, you will notice the following when you have eaten more than physically needed:
✅You are mechanically taking bites and swallowing, but you aren’t really enjoying the food anymore.
✅You are feeling pressure and discomfort in your stomach. If filled further, it starts to hurt. You may even feel queasy.
✅After a while you start to feel sluggish.
What if I can’t detect hunger and/or fullness signals in my body?
Assuming that you’re not eating too hurriedly or with many distractions, there are several possible reasons for having difficulty perceiving these internal bodily cues. If you’ve been ignoring your hunger and fullness signals for a long time, you may have temporarily lost your physical sensitivity to them.
This is often the outcome of frequent dieting, chronically restricting food intake, being raised to “clean your plate,” or struggling with any kind of disordered eating. If this is the case for you, it will take some time to rediscover hunger and fullness cues, which may require professional guidance. Outside help is especially crucial if: 1) you are never hungry and routinely get full with just a few bites, or 2) you are always hungry and never feel satisfied after eating.
Sometimes, there are emotional reasons for a person being unable to access their hunger and fullness signals. Getting in touch with body sensations stirs up painful memories for some people, while others feel undeserving of meeting their own needs. If you are one of these people, it is important to work through these issues with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.
Lastly, in some cases, there are medical explanations for problems with hunger and fullness. For instance, certain medications, specific diseases, depression, stress and pain can clearly increase or decrease the appetite. But overall, there are still many unanswered questions regarding the body’s regulation of food intake. Research is currently underway to try to better understand the complex mechanisms, and to figure out why some people struggle more than others.
What are some “false alarm” signals that are often confused with stomach hunger?
Sometimes, we mistake other signals in our bodies for physical hunger. They are legitimate sensations, but not true stomach hunger. Here are some examples:
Sometimes, especially if we’re feeling irritated or stressed, we want to chew our frustrations away. Our bodies are not calling for food, but we put it in our mouths as an attempt to relieve anxiety.
We see or smell something that looks so delicious that our mouths start to water. Sometimes just thinking about a food brings on a craving for it. We desire to taste the food, but really aren’t physically hungry.
We look at the clock and think we have to eat a certain amount of food because “it’s time”, even if we don’t feel like eating.
Sometimes we confuse the sluggishness of dehydration with actual hunger. The body is calling for fluids, not food.
When we sense that our energy levels are low, some of us automatically think that if we eat something, we’ll feel better. However, if we’ve been working extra hard and/or haven’t been getting enough sleep, our bodies are calling for rest, not food.
“Heart Hunger/Emotional Hunger”
We feel an ache and emptiness in our hearts due to unmet emotional and/or spiritual needs. Rather than acknowledge our feelings and work through our issues, we try to fill the void with food. Or sometimes we try to use food to “stuff” our feelings down. Although there can be physical discomfort in the gut when we’re upset, it is a distinctly different sensation from stomach hunger.
As you can see, the simple design of physical hunger and fullness is often overshadowed by other body signals, habits, needs and emotions. Identifying and dealing with them appropriately is a huge step in the process of discerning true stomach hunger. Learning to eat intuitively–meeting your body’s true physical needs for fuel and nourishment–will help you naturally reach the healthiest weight for your one-of-a-kind body.
Online fitness, nutrition, and lifestyle coach.
September 18, 2019
I am coming to you on a very rainy day where I live. I hope that where you call home things are a little more pleasant. I actually don’t mind the rain but I know that for some it can be an issue.
On to why I am writing you today. I was thinking about my own journey over the last 20+ years, the highs and lows, and how far I have come. I look back to all that I overcame and remember at one point I never thought I would.
Can you relate to that?
Do you catch yourself thinking that the life you have right now is all there will be for you and it won’t get any better?
How does that make you feel to read that or even be the one speaking that to yourself on an almost daily basis?
I want to tell you a story about what finally helped me to turn my life around and get serious about losing weight and improving my health.
You see for years I struggled with being obese, not overweight, but obese. I used food as a way to cope for as long as I can remember. As a child that is really the only ‘drug’ you have access to, so that became my way to escape all the painful emotions that life brought.
For those who don’t know I came from a pretty abusive childhood that fed into my emotional and binge eating disorder. The majority of my clients have also come from this background of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. Many have experienced all three, but that is for another story.
It’s crazy when I look back and think about my life then. You would think that just being miserable with myself would have been enough of a push to change but it wasn’t. If you struggle with your weight then you know what I’m talking about. I was literally a prisoner in my own body and I hated it, and if I’m being honest, myself. I hated that I allowed myself to get so big [nearly 300lbs] but I felt I was so far gone that there was no hope for my situation.
Just the thought of trying to lose weight felt so overwhelming that it would typically cause me to procrastinate on taking action to change or when I did try to change I would ultimately end up sabotaging myself because deep inside I didn’t believe I would be successful or worthy of a better life. I had come to the place where even though I was miserable I chose to settle.
I remember the looks of disgust I would get from some people. How I was treated differently just because of my weight and how that made me feel so small. Just doing simple tasks were made that much harder because of my weight. My self-esteem and self-worth was shot, but I desperately tried to hide it daily behind a fake smile. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had some moments of happiness, but it didn’t last. In those moments that I found myself all alone all I felt was incredible self loathing and hopelessness.
I had tried every diet you could think of…cabbage soup diet, medifast, dexatrim diet pills, fasting, low carb, no carb, low fat, and the list goes on.
None of it worked long term and it always came back to one thing.
My weight, and quite possibly yours, was never about the food.
It never was and never will be.
Think about it.
How many diets have you been on? how many times have you lost weight only to gain it back? if it was as simple as a dietary change or exercise plan you probably wouldn’t be reading this right now.
Now onto how I made my change.
The best thing that ever happened to me was slipping down a flight of stairs and straining a muscle in my back. Most people wouldn’t think so but it most likely save my life and put me on a journey of change.
You see at the time I didn’t know I strained a muscle, but later on that night while laying in bed I felt this intense pain on my left side when I took in deep breaths.
I thought I was having a heart attack.
In that moment I cried out to God and said I would change my ways if I could live. I was scared and the thought of death and potentially losing my life finally became more important than any piece of food I could put in my mouth.
The faith based coaching system that I use with my clients today is what I used for myself to finally be able to come to peace with myself, my thoughts, and my body. I was finally able to deal with my emotional eating in a healthy way and stop running from my emotions. I got to that place where I could sit with them, acknowledge them, and allow them to move on without stuffing my face with my favorite jo-jo doughnuts and liter of Coke!
Back then I settled for jobs that I hated but worked because I didn’t think I deserved better, stayed in abusive relationships because I thought I was luck to have someone at my size, and existed. Today I am pursuing my Masters in Social Work, coaching amazing clients, a girls high school soccer coach, and visionary. None of this would have ever been possible had I chosen to stay where I was at. The Godfidence that I have today is directly tied to the work I had to do on myself. You know that part that we all want to skip? that is where the magic is and where you will find out who you really are and what your purpose is in this life.
It is all about addressing the mind, body, and spirit. If you leave out any of these parts of yourself you won’t find the long lasting results that you want.
I went from hating my life to now loving it. From not seeing a future for myself to realizing that I can do anything I want and that the only limit was me. I am now free to dream of the life I want and pursue it having the faith that with God I can do all things.
I share my story with you because I want you to know that if you find yourself in that place of hopelessness you aren’t alone. If you find yourself scared to try again because deep down you feel you will fail or that you aren’t worthy, you aren’t alone.
I get it.
That is why I love what I do. I am already inside my clients head. I know the excuses you’ll tell yourself to not start, how you’ll talk yourself out of doing anything that might be good for you, and even when you will want to quit.
This journey isn’t easy my friend. If you are brave enough to start you are going to have to face some things that will make you uncomfortable, afraid, and want to shrink back in f.e.a.r.
With that being said, I would rather go through all of that then sit back passively while life passed me by and my health just got worse with each passing day. To me that isn’t living, but rather existing and I know for a fact that God didn’t put us here to just exist. He wants you to live your life fully and I truly believe we can’t do that if we are in bondage to anything. At some point we have made food an idol in our lives and we need to address that if we are to be made whole again in Him.
Are you at that place where you are tired of just existing? Do you feel deep down that there is more out there for you than what you are currently settling for?
Don’t be like most people who continue to stay on the hamster wheel and keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. You and I both know that the answer to your problem isn’t going to be solved with another fad diet.
If you can relate to any of what I said and feel led to reach out to me, I encourage you to do so. I trust God to send to me those He knows I can help and that tug you feel at your soul isHis prompting.
I don’t care where you are at right now physically, mentally, or emotionally. You ARE NOT so far gone that you cannot be helped or get the results you want. All you have to do is take that first, and hardest step, and reach out to me today.
Hit reply and lets connect.
I am also going to give you a FREE gift that can help you only if you put it to use. You’ll find it attached to this email below.
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are some ways I can help
Stay on track and journal your experiences with my 30 day devotional. It is packed with motivational tips and scripture to help keep you on track.
Do you need to ‘reset’ your body, lose fat, have more energy and eliminate joint pain? try my 21 day reset.
If you need help with nutrition, training, and want to find out how your emotional eating is impacting you today grab my coaching guide. It will give you the blueprint to your success.
March 25, 2019
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December 12, 2018
Are your thoughts ruining your life?
If you’re reading this know it isn’t by accident. You were meant to read this and begin the process of letting go of your limiting beliefs.
You see, far too many of us are walking around with a ‘poverty mindset’ and then wonder why we lack those things we truly desire.
Whatever you are FOCUSING on the most will manifest itself in your life. Do any of these limiting beliefs sound familiar?
🔹️I’ll never be able to afford it.
🔹️I don’t believe I can do it.
🔹️I’ll never lose this weight!
🔹️They just have it easier than I do.
🔹️I’ll always be alone.
🔹️This is my lot in life.
🔹️I’m just not motivated.
🔹️I have no energy!
🔹️I’m just unlucky.
🔹️I’ll start tomorrow. [procrastinate & avoid]
🔹️I’m such a failure.
🔹️I failed before so why try again?
All of these are self-fulfilling prophecies, and the MORE you repeat them to yourself the MORE you will struggle with them. Think of your thought life as a big magnet. Whatever dominates your thinking the most is what you will attract into your life.
There is abundance EVERYWHERE and you don’t have to struggle for the rest of your life.
You can either CHOOSE to believe that you will always struggle or you can CHOOSE to believe that you will OVERCOME.
Let go of those negative, unproductive, patterns of thinking and being. They aren’t helping you and are only keeping you stuck.
Begin today to FOCUS on the life you want. Follow that up with affirmations that reflect the life you want, and then take ACTION.
Yes, it will be hard to do at first. You will want to reject what you’re doing, but in time you will start to accept this new information.
Remember that in order to RECEIVE you must first BELIEVE. ☝️
Do you need to take out some mental ‘trash’ and renew your mind? Are you confused as to where to start and feel overwhelmed?
If so, I want to help you on this journey. I too struggled unnecessarily for a long time. Then one day I got tired of how my life looked and how I was living. I was tired of not being happy, using food to cope, and missing out on really living life. I had allowed myself to become a prisoner in my own body because of the weight.
I had hit my ‘bottom’ and to be honest that’s the best place one can be at times. You’re left with no other choice but to fight or die. I chose to fight and here I am today. I want you to choose to fight as well.
There will be no perfect time to start, so just do it now. You’ll try to talk yourself out of it like you’ve done a million times before. I want you to stop doing that. That is just a tactic used by the enemy to keep you stuck and miserable. Take a leap of faith and trust that God will help see you through this.
Reach out to me today for a phone consultation. I can work with you no matter where you call home. I have clients all over the globe who are finding freedom from those things that used to hold them back. You can be one of them too.
Go here to set up the call that can radically change your life.
Also, be sure to grab my FREE fat loss guide. It also has a sample menu for you to follow.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
December 2, 2018
Tips on dealing with life’s struggles
I have received a lot of messages from folks regarding depression and this time of year. I know that for many it is a joyous time, but for some of you it is very hard. Maybe you’re dealing with the recent loss of a loved one, a relationship has ended, etc.
No matter the case, I want you to know that I get it. You are not alone and you don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed for FEELING depressed.
If you have followed me for any amount of time you know that I will not say, “I AM” depressed, but I will say that I feel depressed. When we say, “I am” we are owning that thing or feeling, and I don’t want to own depression, but I will allow myself to feel it and process it in a healthy way.
It has been my experience working with clients that far too many Christians suffer in silence when it comes to depression. They feel as if they aren’t ‘spiritual’ enough, so that’s why they feel depressed. You’ll even hear other Christians tell them to just “pray it away!”, as if it was that easy. Now, I do know, and believe in the power of prayer, but comments like that are incredibly insensitive to the person suffering before you.
I’m going to share my testimony of sorts and how I handle dealing with depression. This isn’t advice for you to take, but what I choose to do.
Many people are shocked when I tell them that I have dealt with depression, and anxiety for the better part of my existence on this big ball of mud.
There is no shame in ‘FEELING’ depressed or anxious. I say “feel” because I am very careful in how I choose my words surrounding anything. I won’t own depression or anxiety. I won’t say “I am depressed” but I will say “I feel depressed.” By doing this I have not personalized it or made it about me, it is just a feeling I’m experiencing at that moment.
I think the important thing to keep in mind is that everyone has dealt with this at some point and time, it’s just to what severity. I have found that those who deal with, myself included, often felt like they are the only one or that they are somehow defective.
There are a myriad of reasons as to why someone may deal with depression or anxiety. If you have a history of emotional, sexual, or physical abuse and didn’t have some level of depression or anxiety I would be shocked.
These types of childhood trauma, at a young age, literally change the brain. As a child you were constantly on guard, waiting for the next thing to happen. Being in this constant state of ‘fight or flight’ keeps cortisol [stress] levels high, even when the danger is gone. This usually will carry on into adulthood. This is just a snippet of the research I’ve come across, and it helped me as a survivor, to understand what I was dealing with.
I will share how I have managed this in my own life. I am not against antidepressants, but no longer use them. I chose to come off of them as they just made me ‘flat’ emotionally. I never had any really good days or bad days, I just felt ‘meh’ most of the time.
This has worked for me and it has been proven in studies to work for many who deal with depression and anxiety.
- I pay very close attention to my diet. I ensure that I get all the necessary vitamins and minerals my body needs to function. Many people who eat a diet high in processed foods, sugar, fat; tend to be more depressed than others.
- I strength train, and move my body however I can. This release of endorphins helps tremendously with depression and anxiety. It also give me an outlet for all those feelings I’ve stored up.
- When I feel my mood shift I gently remind myself that I have been here before and that it will be okay. I just make myself do those things that help me maintain, such as being mindful of diet, and continuing to exercise. Most who become depressed just say “f**k it” and crawl into a hole. I have found that I have to act against those impulses. I know that if I let myself go there that it will only get worse. I have to force myself to act in spite of how I feel.
- I have a support system. It’s very easy to feel like you’re the only one who feels this way, and that can lead to isolation. This is where the ‘enemy’ can really beat you up. You need to surround yourself with people you can safely share with.
- I don’t self medicate with food, alcohol, etc. I allow myself to feel EVERYTHING. If you run from this you’ll only compound your problems.
- I watch my intake of caffeine. If you have issues with anxiety this can exacerbate the problem.
- I don’t allow others to minimize my experience. There are many who say “just get over it.” If it were that easy I believe many would. No one who has truly suffered from deep depression wants to feel that way.
- I give myself permission to be human. No one is ‘depression’ or ‘anxiety’ it is just something you’re dealing with at the moment. Remember that no one has it all together, and this doesn’t define me, it’s just a part of my story that I can use to help others know that they are not alone.
I hope this helps someone out there to know they aren’t alone. If this message resonates with you hit reply and let me know about.
If you would like to discuss how my COACHING PROGRAM can help you process and work through issues such as depression, emotional eating [binge eating], self-sabotage, shame, or any other thing getting in the way of your true happiness, please fill this FORM out. We can schedule a phone consultation and see if we are a good fit for one another.
Have a blessed day my friends. Just know that God loves you and so do I.
PS- Take a look at how some of my e-books can help jump start your fitness journey. They are packed with relevant, easy to apply health and fitness tips.
You can use the 21 day body reset to finally find out what foods work best for you for maximum fat loss and overall health. This comes with a meal plan and shopping guide.
My 30 day devotional will provide the motivation that you need to keep going on those days that it gets hard. It is packed with tips on fitness and daily scripture for you to meditate upon for the day. It also has an area where you will journal your thoughts and feelings for the day. You will focus on what went well and what you can improve upon. This is a great tool for being able to go back after the initial 30 days and see just how far you have come.
Do you wonder if you’re an emotional eater? do you find yourself starting out on a new health plan only to sabotage yourself a few days or weeks later? If so, my coaching guide is for you. It will explain in detail the importance of nutrition, why macros [carbohydrates, protein, fat] are ALL needed, and important, in your daily diet. It also will provide you with in depth questions you can answer to see exactly where you might be ‘stuck’ so you can begin to work on, and be rid of, unhealthy ways of coping. You no longer have to use food or anything else to numb out or ‘escape’ the trials of life.