November 3, 2019
November 3, 2019
I am back with my final post regarding emotional eating and how our beliefs determine our feelings and behavior.Keep in mind that in order to be free from your stress eating you must be aware of your beliefs before you can change them. If you change your beliefs then you can expect to experience new feelings and behaviors.
This is what I help you to do with my coaching program. Once the connection is made, and those uncomfortable feelings you’ve been running from for years are given space to be felt, dramatic changes begin to occur in your life.Keep in mind that the diet industry will have you believe that your problem is the food you are putting in your mouth.
They are wrong and I can prove it.
It has never been about the food and it never will be.
If food was the issue you could simply go on any diet you choose and you’d never deal with emotional eating again.Maybe you think it’s about the food too. If so, I want to ask you how many diets you’ve been on? Have you lost count? If it was about the food you’d have had the success you so desperately want by now. The food is just a symptom of a much larger problem and by only addressing your diet without doing the internal work and looking at how your current belief system is keeping you stuck is insanity. But many people go on diet after diet without doing the internal work because it keeps them safe.
As long as we are able to keep our focus on anything other than ourselves we don’t have to feel, but what you don’t realize is that it is the feeling [emotions] that will free you.The good news is most of your beliefs that you have today aren’t even your own. They were given to you as a young child by mom, dad and society and you readily accepted them because you didn’t know any better. Maybe your mom had a dysfunctional relationship with her body and would make negative comments about herself or food in front of you. As a child you look up to her so you naturally internalize these messages even if they were never directly said to you. As a child you think, “if mom feels like this about herself or food then I need to as well.”Maybe you had a parent take out their self loathing on you and they did speak negativity over your life. If they were unhappy with themselves it isn’t unusual to have that spill over onto others around them.
Many of my clients have had a history like this but are afraid to really look at this because they feel as if they can’t question how they were raised. It’s as if they are not being loyal to their parents. I reassure them that it is okay to take an objective look at how we were raised and to acknowledge that at times our parents made mistakes. I believe in dealing with reality and by doing so we can find freedom.Maybe you have some beliefs that you aren’t quite sure about. Are they right or could they possibly be irrational? Take a look at some of these that I used to believe and that I’ve heard from my coaching clients.
Irrational beliefs about food:
- Food is the enemy
- Food will make me fat
- Food comforts me
- Food should never be wasted
- Food is life
- Food is a reward
- I’ll always struggle with what I eat
- I should only eat food that is good for me
Irrational beliefs about eating:
- If I don’t eat it all there will be none left for me later
- I wish I didn’t have to eat to survive
- Once I start eating I’m afraid I’ll never stop
- I hate eating around other people
- I’m ashamed of myself when I eat
- I’d rather eat my feelings than to actually have to feel them
- It’s better to not eat than to be overweight
- The only time I feel okay is when I’m eating
- I feel guilty for eating certain foods
- I eat to fill the void inside of me
- What I eat dictates how I feel about myself. If I eat what I consider are ‘good’ foods I do great. If I eat ‘bad’ foods I feel tremendous shame
- I moralize food
Irrational beliefs about weight:
- In order to be happy I must be thin
- I believe that in order to be truly happy I must be thin
- I can’t find true love because I’m fat
- If I’m fat I don’t deserve to be happy and have a good life
- My weight keeps me safe from being hurt again. This is especially true if you have a history of sexual, physical or emotional abuse
- Thin people live a charmed life
- I am deathly afraid of gaining a single pound!
- I should only eat bland, low calorie foods in order to lose weight
Irrational beliefs about your body:
- I will never have the happiness that I want with my current body
- I should be perfect and so should my body
- I don’t trust myself to give my body the care that it needs
- I deserve to feel ashamed of my body and how it looks
- I am only lovable when I’m thin
- No one will love me while I’m fat
- I have no control over my body
- I have convinced myself that I don’t care what I look like. This is another defense mechanism that gives you the false sense of safety. If I tell myself this lie I don’t have to look at, or deal with, how I truly feel
- If I can keep the focus on controlling my body I can avoid looking at the current state of my life
- How I look determines my self-worth
So, after reading all of that can you identify with any of these limiting, irrational beliefs?If you are nodding your head that is a good thing. You might be asking yourself why that is but it is the truth! Remember in my first email I said we have to have a certain level of self awareness in order to change. The fact that you recognize some of these are what you believe to be true is your first step in being able to change them and create a new life for yourself.I know that proposition is exciting and scary at the same time.
I mean, how will you live? If you’ve struggled with your weight for a long period of time then it is very possible that it has become your identity now and although you dream about being at a normal weight that can be hard to grasp. I want you to know that this is very normal as I dealt with that myself as did many of my clients. Even though being overweight was painful it had also become my ‘normal’ so to think about being any other way was a process. Thankfully my coaching program makes this mental transition possible and gives you the blueprint to follow and make it a reality.Now I want you to do something for me and make your own list.
This is the type of actionable work that I give to my coaching clients to help facilitate change and heal their relationship with themselves, and in turn their relationship with food changes all on its own.I want you to make a list of your own beliefs. They might look like this, “I will always be fat” or “I will never lose this weight just like my mom or dad said.” The use of “I” statements is a good thing. Be sure to list exactly what your inner critic says to you, word for word. Some of them may be similar and that’s okay, just write all of them down that pertain to your weight, body, eating habits, and happiness.
This can be your starting point to begin change and build the life you want and deserve.Well my friend that is all for now. I hope that you take some time to create that list and really look at how your beliefs may be influencing your life today. I told you that at the end of this mini series I was going to offer you the chance to work with me one on one. If what I have shared over the last week has resonated with you I want to be your coach. If you know you want more from life and are tired of trying to figure it out on your own, I want you to know I get it. I used to be right where you are and I have created a faith based program that takes the guess work out of it all.You just have to stop thinking about change and take action. That is the only way out.
If you’re curious and want to set up a free consultation hit reply and type, “I’m ready” and we can jump on the phone to discuss your goals and I can share exactly how I will help you to succeed.You can also go here and fill out my application.
Remember that change is scary and you’ll do everything in your power to talk yourself out of it. Don’t believe the lie you tell yourself that you’ll do it, “later” or “tomorrow.” When you procrastinate just know that it is because of f.e.a.r. so take action now.
Reach out to me today if you’re interested in online coaching or personal training in Caldwell, Boise, Nampa, Eagle, Meridian or Middleton.