July 7, 2013

Some lessons i have learned on my own journey called life

Here are some lessons I have learned in my 38 years on this earth. I have had to endure some real mess but God saw me through to the other side. I thank God for my experiences for they have made me the man I am today. I am grateful for the people He saw fit to place in my path that have aided me, encouraged me and saw something in me that at the time I couldn’t see in myself.

You are just as important as anyone else. Your needs, wants, desires and feelings are just as important.

Trust your ‘gut’ as it will almost always lead you in the right direction.

Don’t believe those lies that were spoken over you as a child. There was nothing wrong with you then and there is nothing wrong with you now.

You will find your purpose in your pain.

You will not find happiness being a certain size/weight.

God is good all the time. He will never leave you…even if you leave him for a time.

Another person can enhance your life but not make you whole or complete. That must come from within you.

You will not find happiness in having a ripped body.

Being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to be someone’s doormat.

Accept yourself, your TRUE self, even if no one else does.

Too often we settle for the ‘scraps’ from another person because we feel that is all we deserve. This is a lie that has been told for far too long.

You will not find happiness with large amounts of money.

You will not find happiness being up in the club.

You can be in a room full of people but still feel very alone.

You can be certain that any thought or feeling you have ever experienced in life someone else has too… just at a different time. You are not alone.

Just because someone is a close family member, friend or significant other doesn’t mean you have to put up with their emotional or physical abuse.

Sometimes you have to let go of someone or something you truly love in order to save yourself.

If you have to give up who you truly are to be with someone the cost is too high.

Learn how to set healthy boundaries and enforce them.

Just because another person can’t relate to what you have been though doesn’t minimize your story.

Being abused either physically, emotionally or sexually as a child changes you forever. These types of abuse are insidious and will reveal themselves in all your interactions with others. You may feel socially awkward, not good enough, perfectionist, try too much, not try enough, feel as if you don’t belong, numb with food, alcohol, work, sex, etc. You may find yourself going from one abusive relationship to the next, settling for less than you deserve. It was never your fault and there was nothing you could have done to stop it. If you struggle with this please seek help and free yourself from this.

It isn’t weakness to ask for help when we are struggling or no longer know what to do.

You will often find the ‘why’s’ to your current behavior by looking at your past. We don’t have to live in the past but it can be very helpful to visit there in order to help us move on in the present.

There will never be the ‘right time’ to do anything. For years I waited to live my life until that time came…it never did. I missed out on a lot because of that faulty mindset.

Our parents are people too…they have their own past, dreams, hopes, fears and make mistakes. I had to learn to view my parents from this perspective in order to forgive them. It doesn’t excuse certain behaviors but it offers an explanation as to why they did what they did.
We tend to parent the way we were parented. If abuse was present during your childhood you have the power to break the cycle. It can end with you and your children.

Life goes on with or without us. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and have regrets at not having lived my best life possible.

Brandon Jenkins

  • Steve, July 23, 2018 Reply

    wow some really great insight here. I am learning much of this while going through my divorce right now. Lessons learned too late yet I did not know her 'childhood rape' story until 6 months ago, the marriage was bad before then but unraveled rapidly once it was shared. When you said it messes up your relationship that is SO TRUE!! Now I am paying the price for being that perverted cousin. My behavior sucked and learned to be reactive!!! I am heartbroken but I will persevere.

    • bornagain, April 22, 2019 Reply

      HI Steve,

      I'm sorry for the late reply. I hope that you find yourself in a much better place today my friend. Being self-aware is the first step in changing and it seems like you are there. Let me know if I can help.

      God bless,

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